Subject: Education (Page 9)

A self-made man is one who believes in luck and sends his son to Oxford.

(1902 – 1983) Australian novelist & short-story writer
Education Success

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

Education Insults

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

Body Definitions Education School

Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

[Coedness] is like a radical agenda forced on college students.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Education Misspokements School Situations

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

(1803 – 1869) French Romantic composer
Education Life Time

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.

Communication Education Murphy’s Laws

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

(1980 – ) cartoonist
Education School Things

When I was at school I was great at history… oh wait, no I wasn't.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Education History Learning Time

Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.

professional basketball player
Education Misspokements School

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Death Fathers School Situations

How is education going to make me smarter?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Education TV/Movie Quotes

Education: A progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Definitions Education

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Communication Education Learning Speech

I started wearing glasses, and people started saying I looked smart and I'm like, huh?… I didn't go to Harvard; I went to Lens Crafters.

comedian
Education Intelligence

I think I’m really learning a lot from my creative writing classes; the entire experience is just indescribable.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Education Learning Reading/Writing

Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, it was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.

(1882 – 1950) American attorney, politician, liberal activist & actor
Education Learning

You think when gym teachers are younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Education Occupations Work

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School