Subject: Education (Page 9)

Teacher: A person who swore she would starve before teaching, and who has been doing both ever since.

Definitions Education

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws

Something very sad about the fact that I haven’t read Moby Dick, but I have read the Kindergarten Cop Wikipedia page.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Education Reading/Writing

Collegians Are Turning To Vegetables

Headlines School

The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws

College is great; it’s the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents… and bounce it.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Money Poverty

How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?… your dog is missing, and your homework is done.

(1962 – ) American television host, actress & comedian
Animals Dogs People School

Dan Quayle is going around the country giving C students a bad name.

American comedian, writer, producer & actor
Education TV/Movie Quotes

Ah, well… we live and learn, or, anyway, we live.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
Death Education Learning

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Education Learning

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Education School

Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

Definitions Education School

1. The more general the title of a course, the less you will learn from it. 2. The more specific a title is, the less you will be able to apply it.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School

I am not young enough to know everything.

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Age Education Intelligence Young

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Education School Work

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.

(1930 – ) American baseball player
Education Intelligence

[Coedness] is like a radical agenda forced on college students.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Education Misspokements School Situations

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Appearance Clothing Education People

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American basketball coach & executive
Education Football School Sports