Subject: Education (Page 9)

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence People School

I spent three of the happiest years of my life in the fifth grade.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education School TV/Movie Quotes

Teaching Latin to someone like me in high school was somewhat like trying to teach a pig to dance; it’s a waste of the teacher’s time and it irritates the pig.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Education School

Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.


Education Learning

I was the only black in every class; hard to be absent.

(1969 – ) American comedian & actor
Education

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra; in real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Education Learning Life Science/Weather

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

Interviewer: Auburn is a pretty good school; to graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.

Age Children Family Learning

I failed math so many times in school, I can’t even count.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Education School

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Education Government Murphy’s Laws Politics

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Education Entertainment Reading/Writing Television

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Education Religion

For every person wishing to teach, there are thirty not wanting to be taught.

(1898 – 1951) Scottish humorist
Education Learning

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

Education: The path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Intelligence

Something very sad about the fact that I haven’t read Moby Dick, but I have read the Kindergarten Cop Wikipedia page.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Education Reading/Writing

Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning

A statesman is any politician it’s considered safe to name a school after.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Education Government People School

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.

Communication Education Murphy’s Laws

You might be a redneck if… you have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Mothers People Rednecks School