Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 13)

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people “the cops.”

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Alcohol Autos Driving Food/Drink Things

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Alcohol Food/Drink

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health People Self

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Alcohol Intelligence Memory Situations

Meet me down in the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

There are two reasons for drinking: one is when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.

(1785 – 1866) English novelist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around, and I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author
Alcohol Dating Food/Drink Relationships

My mom’s Jewish and my dad’s Irish Catholic alcoholic, so I whine on the inside.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Alcohol Beliefs

Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.


Activities Alcohol Food/Drink

My father drank beer in the morning; later in the day he drank anything.

(1921 – 2007) Scottish-born actress
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

They were persecuted at the turn of the century by the U.S. government – that's right: Prohibition.

comedian, television writer
Alcohol Food/Drink People

As soon as they get married, they all get these big old guts on them; that's not from drinking beer – that's from swallowing pride.

stand-up comedian
Alcohol Body Fat Husbands Marriage Men People

Cliff: Hey, Norm: What’s up?

Norm: My blood-alcohol level.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

I’m going to take the high road, and just because I’m high.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

There are two rules for drinking whisky: first, never take whisky without water, and second, never take water without whisky.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

I think that I would be a good father… especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Alcohol Children Family Fathers

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Eating Food/Drink

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Alcohol Food/Drink Time