Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 2)

Love makes the world go ‘round? Not at all; whiskey makes it go ‘round twice as fast.

(1883–1972) British writer, cultural commentator & Scottish nationalist

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

You say potato, I say vodka.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

As soon as they get married, they all get these big old guts on them; that's not from drinking beer – that's from swallowing pride.

stand-up comedian

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge; others just gargle.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

Take the juice of two quarts of whisky…

(1904 – 1973) American guitarist & bandleader

I had the right to remain silent, but I had lost the ability to.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles… which sounds so much better than “alcoholic.”

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Pour him out of here!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Not all chemicals are bad; without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

You can't drown yourself in drink… I've tried, you float.

(1882 – 1942) American actor

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.

(1904 – 1995) American comedian, jazz musician & singer