Subject: Food/Drink » Cooking

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Cooking Food/Drink

Cooking With Pooh

Book Titles Cooking Food/Drink

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Places Things

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations

Why, her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

My wife has to be the worst cook; her specialty is indigestion.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Health Wives

My mother was the worst cook ever; in school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Clothing Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

Once a dish is fouled up, anything added to save it only makes it worse.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can’t believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I’m still hungry.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Things

In a family recipe that you discovered in an old book, the most vital measurement will be illegible.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Fifty Shades of Chicken

Book Titles Cooking Food/Drink

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink Mothers

When my mother had to get dinner for eight she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

1. If you're wondering if you took the meat out to thaw, you didn't. 2. If you're wondering if you left the coffee pot plugged in, you did.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist
Cooking Food/Drink Life Time

The only thing worse than a husband who never notices what you cook or what you wear is a husband who always notices what you cook and what you wear.

Appearance Cooking Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws

You are always complimented on the item that took the least effort to prepare. Example: If you make roast turkey, you will be complimented on the baked potato.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook… after dinner, I don't brush my teeth, I count them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

Don’t you think the road commissioner would be willing to pay my wife something for her recipe for pie crust?

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Cooking Food/Drink