Subject: Food/Drink (Page 10)

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

I won’t eat anything that has intelligent life, but I’d gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Politicians

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Lunchableswould be so good if they were made with food.


American comedian
Food/Drink

They were persecuted at the turn of the century by the U.S. government – that's right: Prohibition.

comedian, television writer
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Dinah [Shore] formed a foundation to locate missing senior citizens by putting their pictures on prune juice bottles.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Food/Drink Old People

If you are allergic to alcohol… can you take shots for that?

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

He's got a nutritionist, and I've got room service.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Eating Food/Drink Sports

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.

professional baseball player
Food/Drink Malaprops

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Food/Drink People

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it you’re adding raisins and marshmallows – it’s a rocky road.


Food/Drink

I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

There's a pizza place near where I live that only sells slices; you go by there and you see the guy throwing up little triangles.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

(1916 – 1986) American poet, translator & etymologist
Alcohol Food/Drink

At the all-you-can-eat barbecue, you have to pay the regular dinner price if you eat less than you can.

comedian
Eating Food/Drink

You guys keeping up on that Jeffrey Dahmer thing, the guy that ate 17 people?… you know, I could understand one or two, but 17 – you're eating just to eat.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Eating Food/Drink Situations

Diet: Something you keep putting off while you keep putting on.

Definitions Food/Drink

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist
Cooking Food/Drink Life Time