Subject: Food/Drink (Page 2)

If it tastes good, you can't have it; if it tastes awful, you'd better clean your plate.

Characteristics Food/Drink Health

I hope God speaks English; if I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Beliefs Communication Eating God Language

Fields reloading!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Harry Payne Bosterly: You’re drunk!

Harold: And you’re crazy. But I’ll be sober tomorrow and you’ll be crazy for the rest of your life.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

I was well warned about English food, so it did not surprise me, but I do wonder sometimes, how they ever manage to prise [lever] it up long enough to get a plate under it.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

I love defenseless animals… especially in good gravy.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Food/Drink

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

(1908 – 1992) English actor
Food/Drink Places

Little Bobby’s Drunk Again

Alcohol Book Titles

Honey, I’d suck the alcohol out of a deodorant stick.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Turkey can never beat cow.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Always drink upstream from the herd.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

Animals Definitions Eating Food/Drink

The speaker with the most monotonous voice speaks after the big meal.

Communication Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Speech

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Food/Drink

My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse; an antler got stuck in my throat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

Everybody wants to peel his own banana.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Activities America Food/Drink Places Travel

The English never smash in a face; they merely refrain from asking it to dinner.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink