Subject: Food/Drink (Page 28)

Oscar Madison: I got, uh, brown sandwiches and, uh, green sandwiches. Which one do you want?
Murray: What’s the green?
Oscar Madison: It’s either very new cheese or very old meat.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

His [Ben Affleck's] ideal woman is a stripper with a Budweiser in each hand.

(1972 – ) American actress
Beer People Women

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Appearance Body Death Eating Life Proverbs

Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.

(1934 – ) Italian actress
Appearance Body Food/Drink Self

Isn’t there any other part of the matzah you can eat?

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Food/Drink Misspokements

Eating will now be an entirely new ball game. I might have to buy a new pair of trousers.

English jockey
Appearance Eating Sports

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, in addition to when it is removed.

Cooking Definitions

Beer… so much more than just a breakfast drink.

Beer Food/Drink

The meal is not over when I'm full – the meal is over when I hate myself.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink

In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from.

(1909 – 2005) management writer
Characteristics Food/Drink People

I think that I would be a good father… especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Alcohol Children Family Fathers

Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.


Activities Alcohol Food/Drink

I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.

(1904 – 1995) American comedian, jazz musician & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink Self

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink Work

Several members of our youth department are collecting donations for Operation Graduation. Funds will be used for a drug and alcohol party following graduation on May 29th.

Alcohol Church Bulletins Drugs

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: The question is, “What’s going in Mr. Peterson?” A beer please, Woody.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Caramel: A substance for extracting children’s teeth.

Definitions Food/Drink

Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.

American comedian & actor
Food/Drink