Subject: Food/Drink (Page 28)

It was an arranged marriage, put together by drugs and alcohol.

American comedian & television host
Alcohol Drugs Marriage

“I liquidated my assets” is a better way of saying I spent my paycheck on booze.

American comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Any time a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Food/Drink People

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes, and I was like, “Dude, you have to wait.”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Food/Drink Time

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Food/Drink

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Food/Drink

I find that a duck’s opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Death Food/Drink Health

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

I'm a vegetarian… well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Eating Food/Drink People Self

I have taken more good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Alcohol Food/Drink

I never eat in a restaurant that’s over a hundred feet off the ground and won’t stand still.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink

Leftovers: Repast history.

Definitions Food/Drink

A sandwich is an attempt to make both ends meat.

Food/Drink

If you are allergic to alcohol… can you take shots for that?

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

[to campers] Attention. Here’s an update on tonight’s dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight’s mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed “some kind of beef.”

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

At my house we pray AFTER we eat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Eating Food/Drink

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.

(1897-1987) actress & comedian
Eating Food/Drink

Because you are feeding both the child and the floor, raising this child will be expensive.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Food/Drink Money

Alcohol… enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Alcohol Food/Drink