Subject: Food/Drink (Page 33)

I never drink coffee at lunch, I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Food/Drink Situations Sleep

Marriage: A deal in which a man gives away half his groceries in order to get the other half cooked.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Marriage

I feel like a drunken man who doesn’t have a drink.

English football player, manager & sports commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink Misspokements

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Food/Drink Frugal Money

She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Food/Drink

People who eat natural foods will die of natural causes.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist
Cooking Food/Drink Life Time

As a kid, I got three meals a day… oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal.

(1952 – ) American bodyguard & actor
Eating Food/Drink

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Food/Drink Future Money Time

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator
Alcohol Food/Drink

I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Food/Drink

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake; I feel better already!

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Food/Drink Self

This may be the wine talking, but I really, really, really, really love wine.


Food/Drink

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Past Things Time

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.


Accidents Cooking Food/Drink Problems

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Eating Food/Drink Intelligence

Clams… I simply cannot imagine why anyone would eat something slimy served in an ashtray.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Wives

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Money Wealth

Kissing don’t last: cookery do!

(1828 –1909) English novelist & poet
Cooking Food/Drink