Subject: Food/Drink (Page 33)

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money

The English contribution to world cuisine – the chip.

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer
Cooking England Food/Drink Places

Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.

(1946 – ) Romanian-born American poet, novelist, essayist & commentator
Books Communication Food/Drink

A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.

Alcohol Food/Drink

The other day my wife asked me to take her someplace real expensive to eat, so I took her to the airport.

stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Marriage Wives

Coach: Beer, Normie?

Norm: Coach: I don’t know. I’ll have one next week… what the heck, I’m young.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people “the cops.”

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Alcohol Autos Driving Food/Drink Things

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

Alcohol Definitions

You're supposed to eat the cows; they're great big lumbering stupid things – they’d be everywhere if we didn’t eat them.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Animals Eating Food/Drink Life

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Food/Drink Health

I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

(1953 – ) American singer, songwriter, actor, author & radio personality
Activities Alcohol

Thanksgiving… not a good day to be my pants.

(1965 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Food/Drink

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Alcohol Intelligence Memory Situations

While it may be true that a watched pot never boils, the one you don’t keep and eye on can make an awful mess on your stove.

(1820 – 1897) Mormon missionary
Cooking Food/Drink Time

Now don’t get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin’ ‘em more… fun to pet, better to chew.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Eating Food/Drink

At the all-you-can-eat barbecue, you have to pay the regular dinner price if you eat less than you can.

comedian
Eating Food/Drink

Lunchableswould be so good if they were made with food.


American comedian
Food/Drink

Secretary: Someday you’ll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Alcohol Food/Drink