Subject: Food/Drink (Page 35)

AAA-AA: A club for people who are being driven to drink.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Grilled Chicken Ass

Food/Drink Translations

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Eating Food/Drink Housework

If you don’t drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, “And then I got home…"

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

England is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex.

(1934 – ) comedian
Food/Drink Places Sex

You don't get ulcers from what you eat; you get them from what's eating you.

(1888 – 1960) Austrian writer
Eating Food/Drink Health Problems

She did not so much cook food as assassinate food

English writer
Cooking Food/Drink Insults

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol People Rednecks

I don't wanna say we eat out a lot, but when I call my kids for dinner they run to the car!

American comedian
Cooking Food/Drink

I will not eat oysters; I want my food dead… not sick… not wounded… dead.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Food/Drink

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness… from all the free drinks.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Alcohol Appearance Health

When I was pregnant, my friends sneered: ‘Eating for two, are we?’… I said, get lost, I’m not cutting down.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Eating Food/Drink

Vegetarian: A good salad citizen.

Food/Drink People

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Food/Drink

I had a piece of Carefree Sugarless gum and I was still worried; it never kicked in.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Food/Drink

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don’t fight, I’ll eat this planet.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Eating Food/Drink Sports

His brain is a half-inch layer of champagne poured over a bucket of Methodist near-beer.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author
Alcohol Insults Intelligence

Smith to witness: So, you were as drunk as a judge?
Judge (interjecting): You mean as drunk as a lord?
Smith: Yes, My Lord.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Cooking Food/Drink Malaprops