Subject: Government

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
America Government Places

A lawyer is someone who writes a 40-page document and calls it a brief!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Law Lawyers

A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight begins.

(1918 – 2001) American sportswriter, commentator & actor
Beliefs Government

You want a friend in Washington?… get a dog.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Age Friends Government People Places

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and be dumb enough to think it’s important.

(1916 – 2005) American politician & poet
Football Government Politics Sports

Today, if you invent a better mousetrap, the government comes along with a better mouse.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Congress Government Time

A diplomat these days is nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Government

The more you read and observe about the Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politics

If the people of a democracy are allowed to do so, they will vote away the freedoms which are essential to that democracy.

Democracy Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex, but Congress can.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Congress Government

If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government People Work

A Confederacy of Dunces

Book Titles Government

People say satire is dead; it's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication Government Insults

Remember… write to your congressman; even if he can’t read… write to him.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Intelligence Politicians Reading/Writing

If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government Law Marriage Wives

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Government Insults Politicians

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Elections/Voting Government

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes

The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Government