Subject: Government

Politics is not a bad profession; if you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

Ever notice how many government officials make their raises effective long before they ever are?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money

Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.

(1947 – ) American author
Government Politics President

The cardinal rule of politics: never get caught in bed with a live man or a dead woman.

(1931– 2012) American actor, producer & director
Government Politics Sex

No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me; I’m like a white male U.S. senator.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Government People Self

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Money

He rules the country with an iron fist – the same way he plays the piano.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government People

The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws.


Government Law

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America People President Success

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government Politicians

My retirement plan is a slippery floor at a department store.

American comedian
Law Money

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Children Government Law Lawyers Young

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Law Things

Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Government Health People

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Art Democracy Government Science/Weather

A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.

Government Murphy’s Laws Taxes

When the Republicans read the Constitution on the House floor, that's the first time ever that Republicans read something that wasn't written by a lobbyist.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Communication Government Speech

Politicians are people who get sworn in and cursed out!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Politicians

An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Government Taxes

Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws War