Subject: Government (Page 6)

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions; conservatives feel they deserve everything they’ve stolen.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago, because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Places Politics

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Government Law

A Republican stands up in Congress and says I’ve got a really bad idea!' and the Democrat stands up after him and says 'and I can make it shittier!”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government Politicians

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist
Beliefs Conflict Law People

I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Government Law

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f**ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Government

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

In the wake of the killing of Osama bin Laden President Obama’s approval rating jumped to 56 percent, his highest in two years… which shows there is literally nothing he can do to please the other 44 percent.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
Politics TV/Movie Quotes

The difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Taxes

I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US. Congress.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Congress Government

A government survey reveals the prime minister is doing the work of two men… Laurel and Hardy.

(1930 – 2016) Scottish stand-up comedian, actor, writer & broadcaster
England Government

If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; if you can't pick it up, paint it.

Military Murphy’s Laws

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government People Situations Things

When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

Ideas Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Politics isn't about left versus right; it's about top versus bottom.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Government Politics

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians Work

It's hard for the donkeys to win the race if they're going to carry the elephants on their backs.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Elections/Voting Government

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Government Places