Subject: Government (Page 6)

Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

Recoilless rifles – aren’t.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss; whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.

Military

A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.

Government Murphy’s Laws Taxes

What’s needed in government is more horse sense and less nonsense.

Government

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Government Money Taxes

Government intervention in the free market always leads to a lower national standard of living.

Government Murphy’s Laws

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning Politicians

The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Money Taxes

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Democracy Government

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Appearance Body Fat Government Law

How can you govern a country that has 246 varieties of cheese?

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Government Politics

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.

(1930 – ) actor, writer, film & television director
Communication Government Language President

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Doctors Government Health Law Lawyers

No One Likes Paying Taxes – What Makes You So Special?

Government Taxes

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Money

Astronomers have discovered two giant new solar systems, and with George W. Bush taking over the Presidency, it’s good to know we have options.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government President

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything; that points clearly to a political career.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Insults Politics

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Emotions Government

When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Law President

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Elections/Voting Government