Subject: Government (Page 8)

The mistakes made by Congress wouldn't be so bad if the next Congress didn't keep trying to correct them.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Congress Government Mistakes Problems

The more qualified candidates who are available, the more likely the compromise will be on the candidate whose main qualification is a non-threatening incompetence.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers… they are obviously alcoholics.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Food/Drink Places Politicians

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Politicians Situations

The only people who say worse things about politicians than reporters do are other politicians.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Communication Politicians

If a traveller were informed that such a man was the leader of the House of Commons, he might begin to comprehend how the Egyptians worshipped an insect.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Government Insults

Today, if you invent a better mousetrap, the government comes along with a better mouse.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government

Ever notice how many government officials make their raises effective long before they ever are?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians

Recoilless rifles – aren’t.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

If you want to get along, go along.

(1882 – 1961) politician
Government

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Government

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Intelligence Language Military Places

The more zeros found in the price tag for a government program, the less Congressional scrutiny it will receive.

Congress Government Money Murphy’s Laws

The seriousness of a wound (in a firefight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

Military

Electile Dysfunction: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

Congress Government Murphy’s Laws Politics

The only way a reporter should look at a politician is down.

Government Murphy’s Laws Opinion Politicians

Taxpayer: A person who has the government on his payroll.

Definitions Government Taxes

Lawyer: A fellow who is willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove he’s right.

Definitions Lawyers