Subject: Government (Page 8)

Ambassador: An honest man sent abroad to lie for the good of his country.

(1568 – 1639) English author, diplomat & politician
Government Occupations

Under every stone lurks a politician.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright
Government Politicians

In Scotland we have a verdict ‘not proven;’ that means ‘not guilty, but don’t do it again.’

Law Places

Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.

(1947 – ) American author
Government Politics President

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.

Definitions Law Lawyers

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Government Money Poverty Taxes

Your honor, may I encroach the bench?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Law Malaprops

I belong to the Straight Talking American Government Party, or STAG Party for short.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Politics

[When parachuting] it is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Lawyers are operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.

(1939 – ) American financial journalist
Lawyers Occupations

If you have the facts on your side, hammer the facts. If you have the law on your side, hammer the law. If you have neither the facts nor the law, hammer the table.

Facts Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

Let the kids pay it – they still owe us rent and gas money.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Children Government Money

In the Bob Hope Classic, the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Government People

Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Government Laughter People

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

American comedian
Food/Drink Government

Seb Coe is a Yorkshireman; so he's a complete bastard and will do well in politics.

British Olympic decathlon champion
Government Politics

An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Government Taxes

People don’t let politicians kiss your babies; those lips have been on lobbyist asses for years now.

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor
Government Politicians

When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay, but here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Health Money