Subject: Intelligence (Page 22)

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Intelligence

There is a distinct difference between having an open mind and having a hole in your head from which your brain leaks out.

(1928 – ) Canadian stage magician, skeptic & opponent of pseudoscience
Intelligence

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Intelligence Wisdom

Statistics are no substitute for common sense.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Intelligence Wisdom

Some folks as they grow older grow wise, but most folks simply grow stubborner.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Old Wisdom

How many fools does it take to make up a public?

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Fools Intelligence

If you said 'irony' to Clay, he'd look down at his shirt and think it needed pressing.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Insults Intelligence

Forget that guy – just illiterate him from your memory.

Malaprops Memory

If he were any dumber, he’d be a tree.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Insults Intelligence

If brains were all that important in a beauty contest, you could enter wearing a Hefty Bag.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Age Children Ideas

It is all very well to be able to write books, but can you waggle your ears?

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Fools Intelligence Money People

There are no eccentrics in the suburbs.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Intelligence People Places

The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.

(1942 – 2018) English physicist
Intelligence

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator
Entertainment Intelligence Music Wisdom

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.

Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech Television

Look at him and you'd think he's 16… talk to him and you think he's 26; talk baseball with him, and you'd think he's 36.

(1881 – 1965) American Major League Baseball executive
Baseball Intelligence Sports

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

(1920 – 1985 Russian-born American actor of stage & film
Girls Intelligence People Women