Subject: Intelligence (Page 39)

Remember… write to your congressman; even if he can’t read… write to him.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Intelligence Politicians Reading/Writing

You get the feeling that Dan Quayle's golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons?

(1925 – 2005) television host
Intelligence

Only a man who has loved a woman of genius can appreciate what happiness there is in loving a fool.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Fools Intelligence Marriage Men Women

They couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if you wrote the instructions on the heel.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Intelligence

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Intelligence People

Only a fool can reproduce another fool’s work.

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Work

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Marriage Memory Problems Sex Wives

He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom

He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Intelligence Memory Past

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

I've been noticing gravity since I was very young.

(1972 – ) American actress & former model
Intelligence Science/Weather

Sanity is a madness put to good use.

(1863 – 1952) Spanish American philosopher, essayist, poet & novelist
Intelligence

If ever a single person was living proof that intelligence is a meaningless quality without modest common sense, it was Susan Sontag.

(1947 – ) English-born Irish journalist & writer
Insults Intelligence

Right now I feel that I’ve got my feet on the ground as far as my head is concerned.

professional baseball player
Intelligence Mind Misspokements

My daddy always said that a man who walks around with a smile on his face all the time can’t possibly know what's going on.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Emotions Intelligence

You don’t have enough smarts to straighten this out. This is unstraightable.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Intelligence Misspokements Sports

Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn’t have that, then she’s mine.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Girls Intelligence People Women

A full tongue and an empty brain are seldom parted.

(1592 – 1644) English writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Intelligence Money Poverty Stupidity

My old man was dumb, he picked a guy’s pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Fathers Intelligence