Subject: Intelligence (Page 46)

You might be a redneck if… you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks

The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.

Beliefs Children Family Intelligence Opinion

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Fools Intelligence

Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Death Intelligence Thinking

A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?"

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Intelligence Sports Thinking

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain—and most fools do.

(1888 – 1955) American writer, lecturer & developer of self-improvement skills
Characteristics Communication Fools Intelligence

Never trust a man with short legs… his brain's too near his bottom.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Intelligence

Evil and stupidity are randomly distributed.

Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.

Insults Intelligence

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Fools Intelligence Money

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

He is at his wit's end – it is true that he had not far to go.

(1788 – 1824) English poet
Communication Insults Intelligence

He couldn’t grow pole beans in a pile of horse shit.

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Appearance Characteristics Children Intelligence Religion Wives

I guess the definition of a lunatic is a man surrounded by them.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Definitions Intelligence People

I come from a stupid family… during the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Intelligence Relationships Stupidity

The information conveyed is less important than the impression.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

(1888 – 1964) American folklorist, writer & newspaper columnist
Education Ideas Intelligence School

In mathematics you don't understand things… you just get used to them.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.

Communication Fools Intelligence Proverbs Speech

Some folks as they grow older grow wise, but most folks simply grow stubborner.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Old Wisdom