Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 62)

If, while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment is glutted.

Marguerite Emmons

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School Employment Qualifications

There are only two problems with people: One is that they don't think; The other is that they do.

McLean's Maxim

Murphy’s Laws People Problems Thinking

The chances of solving a problem decline the closer one gets to finding out who was the cause of the problem.

Spark's Law of Problem Solution

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Anyone who says he isn't going to resign, four times… definitely will.

Galbraith's Law of Political Wisdom

Murphy’s Laws Resignation

Don't use no double negatives.

The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 5

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

If you want it done quickly, it won't be done correctly.

Murphy's Seventh Law of the Office

Murphy’s Laws Work

The information conveyed is less important than the impression.

Second Law Of Communication

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Information

If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.

Goulden's Axiom of the Bouncing Can

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Situations

Every employee begins at his level of competence.

Peter's Hidden Postulate According to Godin

Murphy’s Laws Work Competence Employees

Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.

Anonymous Murphy's Law

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Work Bosses Motivation

Never leave hold of what you've got until you've got hold of something else.

First Law of Wing-Walking

Murphy’s Laws

It's easier to be a liberal a long way from home.

Price's Law of Politics

Murphy’s Laws Liberals

All the good ones are taken.

Harris's Lament

Murphy’s Laws Situations

If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Problems Solutions

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Gravity

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.

Runyon's Second Law

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports Betting Speed Strength

Whenever a system becomes completely defined, someone discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

Brooke's Law

Murphy’s Laws Systems

The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral.

Murphy’s Law of Topology

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

Mark's Mark

Emotions Love Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Chemistry Physics

After large expenditures of federal, state, and county funds; after much confusion generated by detours and road blocks; after greatly annoying the surrounding population with noise, dust, and fumes – the previously existing traffic jam is relocated by one-half mile.

Law of Road Construction

Autos Murphy’s Laws Traffic

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 62)

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

If, while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment is glutted.

There are only two problems with people: One is that they don't think; The other is that they do.

The chances of solving a problem decline the closer one gets to finding out who was the cause of the problem.

Anyone who says he isn't going to resign, four times… definitely will.

Don't use no double negatives.

If you want it done quickly, it won't be done correctly.

The information conveyed is less important than the impression.

If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.

Every employee begins at his level of competence.

Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.

Never leave hold of what you've got until you've got hold of something else.

It's easier to be a liberal a long way from home.

All the good ones are taken.

If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.

Whenever a system becomes completely defined, someone discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral.

Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

After large expenditures of federal, state, and county funds; after much confusion generated by detours and road blocks; after greatly annoying the surrounding population with noise, dust, and fumes – the previously existing traffic jam is relocated by one-half mile.