Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 62)

In my opinion I think that the author when he is writing should not get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words which he does not really need.

The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 17

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Woltman's Law

Alcohol Beer Computers Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Things

People who eat natural foods will die of natural causes.

Smith’s Law of Dietary Certainty

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Natural foods Robert Smith

Democracy is that form of government where everybody gets what the majority deserves.

Davidson's Maxim

Democracy Government Murphy’s Laws Democracy

Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws

In a bureaucracy, accomplishment is inversely proportional to the volume of paper used.

Fowler's Law

Murphy’s Laws Accomplishments Bureaucracy Paper

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

A Murphy's Military Law

Arms Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time Historians Otto Bettman

Nothing with a plug on it, nothing worn directly next to the skin, no clothing that will turn out to be too small rather than too big, and nothing that you actually want for yourself and are trying to disguise as a gift.

May’s Law of Male Present-Giving

Men Murphy’s Laws People Things Women Gifts James May

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Aunt Emmie’s First Law

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things Cigarette From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

Harris's Restaurant Paradox

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Crowds Restaurants Riddles Speed

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Physical Surfaces

Murphy’s Laws Carpets Sandwiches

If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

Law of Volunteering

Murphy’s Laws Volunteering

In any organization, the potential is much greater for the subordinate to manage his superior than for the superior to manage his subordinate.

Rodovic's Rule

Murphy’s Laws Management

The new hardware will break down as soon as the old is disconnected and out.

Goodin's Law of Conversions

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations Things

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Grandpa Charnock's Law

Driving Murphy’s Laws Swearing

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Robertson's Law

Murphy’s Laws Things Lost

Tracers work BOTH ways.

A Murphy's Military Law

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws Tracers

For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.

Clopton's Law

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Credibility gaps

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 62)

The cream rises to the top. So does the scum.

Everything else causes cancer in rats.

In my opinion I think that the author when he is writing should not get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words which he does not really need.

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

People who eat natural foods will die of natural causes.

Democracy is that form of government where everybody gets what the majority deserves.

Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up.

In a bureaucracy, accomplishment is inversely proportional to the volume of paper used.

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

Nothing with a plug on it, nothing worn directly next to the skin, no clothing that will turn out to be too small rather than too big, and nothing that you actually want for yourself and are trying to disguise as a gift.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug.

If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

In any organization, the potential is much greater for the subordinate to manage his superior than for the superior to manage his subordinate.

The new hardware will break down as soon as the old is disconnected and out.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Tracers work BOTH ways.

For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.