Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 65)

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

McCarthy's Law

Education Government Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Politics Sports Coaches

A committee is the only life form with 12 stomachs and no brain.

Kirby's Comment on Committee

Murphy’s Laws People Committees

If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better; but don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.

Doctors' Law

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws Appointments

Badness comes in waves.

Snafu Equation VI

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Badness

All things being equal, all things are never equal.

Paradox of Selective Equality

Murphy’s Laws Equality

Most accidents in well-designed systems involve two or more events of low probability occurring in the worst possible combination.

Titanic Coincidence

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Ninety percent of “everything” is crud.

Sturgeon's Law

Murphy’s Laws Situations Things

Cleanliness is next to impossible.

O'Reilly's Law of the Kitchen

Murphy’s Laws Cleanliness

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Ground Rule For Laboratory Workers

Murphy’s Laws Work Neatness

Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

Army Axiom

Military Murphy’s Laws Understanding Orders

The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.

Kirkland's Law

Murphy’s Laws People Situations Attendance Meetings Usefullness

The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.

Gumperson's Law

Murphy’s Laws Desirability Probability

It never heals correctly.

Silver's Law of Doctoring

Health Murphy’s Laws Healing

If “sense” is so common, how come we don’t see more of it around?

Bishop’s Query

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws C.B. Bishop Common sense

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much… then again, don’t drink too little.

Smith-Johannsen’s Secret of Longevity

Age Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Old Herman “Jackrabbit” Smith-Johannsen 103-year-old Canadian cross-country skier

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Hull's Warning

Communication Insults Murphy’s Laws Criticism Trouble

Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Ed's Fifth Rule of Procrastination

Murphy’s Laws Time Confirmation Needs

Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday.

Grossman's Lemma

Murphy’s Laws Procrastination

The leak in the roof is never in the same location as the drip.

Cannon's Cogent Comment

Murphy’s Laws Problems Sources

No matter how early you arrive, someone else is in line first.

Heid's Law of Lines

Murphy’s Laws Lines

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 65)

All politics is local.

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

A committee is the only life form with 12 stomachs and no brain.

If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better; but don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.

Badness comes in waves.

All things being equal, all things are never equal.

Most accidents in well-designed systems involve two or more events of low probability occurring in the worst possible combination.

Ninety percent of “everything” is crud.

Cleanliness is next to impossible.

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.

The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.

It never heals correctly.

If “sense” is so common, how come we don’t see more of it around?

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much… then again, don’t drink too little.

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday.

The leak in the roof is never in the same location as the drip.

No matter how early you arrive, someone else is in line first.