Subject: People (Page 121)

It is the loose ends with which men hang themselves.

(1900 – 1948) novelist (wife of writer F. Scott Fitzgerald)
Men People

Being an old maid is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to struggle.

(1885 – 1968) American writer
Marriage People Women

Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Beliefs Misspokements People Places

Racism is so stupid; there’s more than enough reasons to dislike people on an individual basis.

(1952 – ) American political satirist
Emotions People

I’m fairly certain that the only reason I was born crippled was because God knew I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to become a stripper.

American comedian
Health People Self

Career highlights?… I had two; I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
People Self

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

Dating Men People Sex Women

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is; I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Emotions Men Success Women

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is, he's the reason you all live underground.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Government People Situations

You might be a redneck if… you can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People Rednecks

Woman is the most powerful magnet in the universe, and all men are cheap metal… and they all know where 'North' is.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Characteristics Men People Women

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports; when four or more women get together, they talk about men.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Conversation Men People Speech Sports Women

Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers; it's too good for them.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Activities People

Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Books Communication People Self

You don’t know a woman till you’ve met her in court.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
People Women

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

I believe people ought to mate for life… like pigeons or Catholics.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Marriage People

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Situations Women

Reckless Driver: One who passes you on the highway in spite of all you can do.

Definitions People

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, “Dude, thanks for the hammock.”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Things