Subject: People (Page 124)

You might be a redneck if… your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict People Rednecks Relationships

The eyes of Stalin, the voice of Marilyn Monroe.

(1916 – 1996) French president
People

When a man says he had pleasure with a woman he does not mean conversation.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Conversation Men People Sex Women

I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
People Places

An optimist in Canada is someone who thinks things could be worse.

(1942 – ) Canadian politician
Canada People Places

I’m so gay, I could put a lisp in the word ‘cracker.'

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is, not even the Irish.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
People Places

I was born at the age of twelve on a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer lot.

(1922 – 1969) American singer & actor
Entertainment People Self

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Age Old People Situations

I had an unemployed dwarf do a bit of casual work for me; he asked to be paid under the table.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People

If the Bible has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Girls Sports TV/Movie Quotes

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author
Age Children Old People

In this world there are winners and losers – and, of course, ‘the others’, who comprise the majority.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Failure People Success

You might be a redneck if… your parents met at a family reunion.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family Parents People Rednecks

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

(1931 – 2005) American actor
Age Men Old People

[I’m someone] who spends his time at parties in the room with the coats and whose idea of a good time is to go down to the bus terminal and pretend I’m going somewhere.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Characteristics People Self

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
People Time

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink People

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women

Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Men People Women

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor & comedian
Men People Success Women