Subject: People (Page 128)

Guys I’ve been meeting have the worst pickup lines, like: “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

(1977 – ) American comedian
Dating Men People Relationships

You might be a redneck if… you ever named a child after a dog.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Children Dogs Family People Rednecks

A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe.

(1920 – 2004) Canadian author, television personality & journalist
People Places Sex Things

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
Intelligence Men People Women

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion rules, including: both of your socks should always be the same color, or they should at least both be fairly dark.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Men People

How To Go To Work When Your Husband Is Against It, Your Children Aren’t Old Enough, And There’s Nothing You Can Do Anyhow

Book Titles People

I meet so many people; I don’t even know some of my friend’s names.

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Friends People

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you; if he's not, why embarrass him by asking?

(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author
People Places

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?


People

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Failure Self Sports

Is a narcissist’s suicide a crime of passion?


People Self

What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs People Self

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Self Ugly

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics People

We have become, Nina, the sort of people our parents warned us against.

(1785 – 1859) Boston boot maker & probation reformer
People Self

Russians will consume marinated mushrooms and vodka, salted herring and vodka, smoked salmon and vodka, salami and vodka, caviar on brown bread and vodka, pickled cucumbers and vodka, cold tongue and vodka, red beet salad and vodka, scallions and vodka… anything and everything and vodka.

(1933 – ) Scottish born reporter, editor, & producer/correspondent
Insults People

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology; until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs People Religion Science/Weather

He reminds me of the kid in fifth grade who reminded the teacher she forgot to give the homework.

writer & comedian
People School

If a woman likes another woman, she's cordial; if she doesn't like her, she's very cordial.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
People Women

A man with both feet planted firmly in the air.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Definitions People Politics

You might be a redneck if… you smoked during your wedding.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Marriage People Rednecks