Subject: People (Page 19)

Everybody knows that if female genitalia could speak, it would sound exactly like Enya.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
People Women

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike.

(1918 – 1996) U.S. vice president & politician
Intelligence People

If you treat a girl like a dog, she’s going to piss on you.

(1964 – ) American singer-songwriter & musician
Dating Girls People Relationships

When I was about 8 or 9, I was a massive Michael Jackson fan and I wish I had known at the time that I was his type.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
People

You sit there and you talk about yourself for an hour straight, and the other person listens to everything you say; it's like I'm the guy on a date.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
People Self

No man is an island, but some of us are pretty long peninsulas.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
People Situations

I love my name: Paris is my favorite city, and Paris without the ‘P’ is “heiress.”

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Misspokements People Self

Three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Definitions Men Sex

I love New York – it's the only place where if you look at anyone long enough, they'll eventually spit.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
New York City People Places

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People Self

A loafer always has the correct time.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People

The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Intelligence Mind Mistakes People Problems

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Sex

I’m the female equivalent of a counterfeit $20 bill; half of what you see is a pretty good reproduction, the rest is a fraud.

(1946 – ) American recording artist, actress, director & record producer
Appearance Body People Self

The true measure of a man is what he would do if he knew he would never be caught.

(1824 – 1907) Irish mathematical physicist & engineer
Characteristics People

You might be a redneck if… you've ever heard the phrase "come and move this transmission so I can take a bath!"

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

By the time my friend was eighteen she had sown enough wild oats to make a grain deal with Russia.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
People Sex

I don't have any tattoos or piercings yet, but I do have a cold sore I've been ignoring.

(1959 – ) American comedian, actress & singer
Characteristics People Self

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Cooking Food/Drink Self

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

My psychiatrist once said to me, “Maybe life isn't for everyone.”

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Life Self