Subject: People (Page 2)

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Relationships

Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Emotions Happiness People

Ninety-nine per cent of the people in the world are fools and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion.

(1897 – 1975) American author & playwright
Fools Intelligence People

Men and nations will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Characteristics Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People Self

I’m thrilled that the American people stopped him from running this time; as a citizen, I’m happy about that, but as a comic, I weep.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

You might be a redneck if… your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.

(1926 – 1998) American country comedian
Animals Dogs People Rednecks

All the world loves a good loser.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Men Money Work

I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognize a good party man when I see one.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Politics

One man's folly is another man's wife.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Wives

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me; then he said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.

(1973 – ) American comedian
People Self Situations

Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning 50 feet off shore, he'd throw you a 30 foot rope; then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics People

Younger Generation: A group that is alike in many disrespects.

Age Definitions People Young

He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse’ … I’m not a recluse.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Insults People Self

You might be a redneck if… you have a rag for a gas cap.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks

Intuition: That strange instinct that tells a woman she is right, whether she is or not.

Characteristics Definitions People Women

An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics People

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

[My husband] can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house… he can't stand the competition.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance People Self