Subject: People (Page 28)

The people sensible enough to give good advice are usually sensible enough to give none.

(1862 – 1960) English writer
Intelligence People Wisdom

Henry Kissinger may be a great writer, but anyone finishes his book is definitely a great reader.

(1952 – ) American writer & biographer
Communication People Reading/Writing

The United Nations is a good idea, but it’s a pity they have to have so many foreigners in it.

Government People

Mark Twain once said, ‘Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand’ … but it was Shania Twain who said, ‘Man, I feel like a woman.’

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
People

She doesn’t need a steak knife… she cuts her food with her tongue.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication People Speech

You might be a redneck if… you think Taco Bell is the Mexican Phone Company.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

A fool and his money is a friend indeed.

Fools Friends Intelligence Money People

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

There were three things that Chico was always on – a phone, a horse, or a broad.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People

Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.

public relations manager
Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

There’s lots of nice guys walking around Hollywood, but they ain’t eating

(1898 –1985) American film director & producer
Hollywood People Places

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Love Women

We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers; they could call it On Anon Anon.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Communication People Speech

Men are animals and as such are entitled to human treatment and should not be trapped or shot or bred for food or fur.


Men People

A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.

(1911 – 1989) television actress
Age People Women

A man who catches a big fish doesn't go home through an alley.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Characteristics People

In this world there are winners and losers – and, of course, ‘the others’, who comprise the majority.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Failure People Success

You might be a redneck if… your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.

(1880 – ?) American author
Dating People Relationships

He had the kind of handshake that ought never to be used except as a tourniquet.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Characteristics People

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

Money Murphy’s Laws People Time