Subject: People (Page 36)

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Entertainment People Places

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
Intelligence Men People Women

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t.

People

On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek… she bent over!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
People Women

I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Animals Money People

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Intelligence Language Self

You might be a redneck if… your on your first date you had to ask your dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Dating People Rednecks

It's hard to feel fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.

American basketball coach & executive
Appearance Body People Self

I got nothin’ against mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements People TV/Movie Quotes

You may be a redneck if… your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics People Rednecks

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Happiness Love Men Women

Ronnie's hero is Calvin Coolidge and Nancy's is Calvin Klein.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
People

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is, he's the reason you all live underground.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Government People Situations

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady… it sounds like a saddle horse.

(1929 – 1994) U.S. first lady, wife of John Fitzgerald Kennedy & book editor
People

A man in a queue is as much the image of a true Briton as a man in a bull-ring is the image of a Spaniard.

(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
England People Places

Always be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

Characteristics People Success

Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.

(1966 – ) American magazine editor
Individuals People Situations

Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Women

Men and nations will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Characteristics Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, “Dude, thanks for the hammock.”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Things