Subject: People (Page 4)

You have taken yourself too seriously.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People Self

Any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.

(1954 – ) filmmaker, author, social critic & activist
People

He's a fine friend; he stabs you in the front.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Friends People

You know, you can’t please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Entertainment People

Pacifist: A fellow who could attend a peace conference without getting into a fight.

Conflict Definitions Fights People

Men and women are different; while guy is having sex he's thinking how great it would be with a different woman; while when a woman is having sex she's thinking how lousy it is with this guy.

Canadian comedian & author
Men People Sex Women

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage People

He immatures with age.

(1916 – 1995) British politician & prime minister
People

Nothing with a plug on it, nothing worn directly next to the skin, no clothing that will turn out to be too small rather than too big, and nothing that you actually want for yourself and are trying to disguise as a gift.

Men Murphy’s Laws People Things Women

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Men People

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Laughter People Self

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Definitions Men People Relationships

There are two insults which no human being will endure: the assertion that he hasn’t a sense of humor, and the doubly impertinent assertion that he has never known trouble.

(1885 – 1951) American novelist, short-story writer & playwright
People

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Happiness Language People Sex

A man who catches a big fish doesn't go home through an alley.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Characteristics People

Fettucini Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink People

I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration; I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
People Television

A man… is so in the way in the house!

(1810 – 1865) English writer
Men People

An Irishman is not drunk as long as he still has a blade of grass to hang onto.

Alcohol Food/Drink People

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics Law People

I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine… the staples covered everything!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self