Subject: People (Page 2)

Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.

People

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics Self Sex

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

People

I'm a vegetarian… well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Eating Food/Drink People Self

Mexicans are always tough with lots of heart; Koreans raw and gritty; the poor British tend to stand up straight and take it on the chops, bleeding almost before the opening bell.

Canadian sportswriter
Boxing People Sports

The Cocktail Party: A device for paying off obligations to people you don’t want to invite to dinner.

(1916 – 1986) American minister & author
Activities Definitions People

Expert: An ordinary man away from home giving advice.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Occupations People

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

People

He was one of those men who possess almost every gift, except the gift of the power to use them.

(1819 – 1875) English priest, university professor, historian & novelist
Insults Intelligence People

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’… On what?… On fire?

(1954 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Clothing Shopping Situations Women

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men People

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf People Sports

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
People Time

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Relationships Self

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Cooking Food/Drink People Women

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People Work

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Characteristics People Work

That’s why they’re man’s best friend… ‘cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are; so do women, but they’ve already got men

(1957 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Men People

I like Kit-Kats unless I’m with four or more people.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink People