Subject: People (Page 5)

Latins for Republicans… it’s like roaches for Raid.

(1964 – ) Colombian-American actor, producer, playwright & screenwriter
Government People Politics

I’m not a fighter, I’m a bleeder.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Fights Self

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Opinion People

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is, he's the reason you all live underground.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Government People Situations

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

Optimist: The sort of man who marries his sister’s best friend.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Friends Marriage Men

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Poverty Self

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Individuals

When you talk to him, he looks at you and grins and grins and nods and nods and appears to be the world's best listener, until you realize he is not listening at all.

(1933 – ) television & radio host
Conversation People

Remember to always be yourself… unless you suck.

(1964 – ) screenwriter, executive producer, director, composer & actor
Characteristics People Self

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Hair People

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Marriage Men People

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Age Appearance Body Old People

If a tree falls in the woods, and nobody is around to hear it, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
People Situations

Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has traveled is the worst.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People

I look at my friendship with her as like having a gall stone; you deal with it, there is pain, and then you pass it.

(1955 – ) American comedian, singer, actress & author
Insults People

Hello!… we heard you at the door, but just thought you were part of the bad weather.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication People

The sheer immensity of the human self as envisioned by the world's religions is awesome.

(1919 – ) American religious studies scholar
Beliefs People Religion Self

Donald, I’m not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Insults People

Mother Teresa with better legs.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
People

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it’s too much trouble putting make-up on two faces.

Australian comedian & actress
Characteristics Government People Politicians Women