Subject: People (Page 74)

I don’t consider myself a pessimist; I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain… and I feel soaked to the skin.

(1934 – ) Canadian singer-songwriter, musician, poet & novelist
Beliefs People Self

Committee: A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

(1911 – 1969) American school superintendent, philosopher & humorist
People

A study shows that ninety per cent of men inflate the number of their sex partners, while the other ten per cent inflate their sex partners.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Men People Sex

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer
Family Memory People Relationships

Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good;   (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Definitions Men People Women

Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor; it is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel.

(1920 – 1998) lawyer, congresswoman, & women's movement activist
People Women

That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Shopping Women

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
People

You know that look women get when they want sex… me, neither.

(1958 – ) standup comedian, actor, game show host & photographer
People Sex Women

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad; an optimist is a man who hopes they are.

(1834 – 1928) American attorney for Cornelius Vanderbilt
Characteristics People Women

I can't take a well-tanned person seriously.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Appearance People

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Characteristics Men People War

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Democracy Government People

Sometimes people have had terrible childhoods… and sometimes they just haven’t found their special place in life… and sometimes they’re dogs from hell and must be destroyed.

(1912 – 1988) American cartoonist (The Addams Family)
People Situations

She is a combination of Little Nell and Lady Macbeth.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
People

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

(1892 – 1969) English publisher & bookseller
People

Errol Flynn died on a 70-foot boat with a 17-year-old girl; Walter has always wanted to go that way, but he's going to settle for a 17-footer with a 70-year-old.

(1916– 2005) American wife of Walter Cronkite
Death People Things

Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they don't have time to get into mischief.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Characteristics Individuals People

A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Fear People Women

People become progressively less competent for jobs they once were well equipped to handle.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

You might be a redneck if… a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Beer Food/Drink People Rednecks