Subject: People (Page 74)

All committee reports conclude that “it is not prudent to change the policy (or procedure, or organization, or whatever) at this time.”

Murphy’s Laws People

In elementary school, I made an ashtray for Dad… it caught fire.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Self TV/Movie Quotes

I'm convinced that his voice comes out of his eyelids.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment People

A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.

(1911 – 1989) television actress
Age People Women

Nymphomaniac:  a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Men People Sex Women

A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions People

He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil!

(1898 – 1978) Israeli prime minister
History People Situations

Younger Generation: A group that is alike in many disrespects.

Age Definitions People Young

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Self Speech

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Autos Men Things

Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later, and for another thing, they die earlier.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Men Women

One of the best things in the world to be is a boy; it requires no experience, but needs some practice to be a good one.

(1829 – 1900) American essayist & novelist
Men People

Behind every great man there lies a great woman… and one in front of him as well if he’s lucky.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Men People Women

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Animals Men People Situations Time

Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
People Women

A bore is a fellow talking who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics Communication People Speech

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had a dress with a sign on the back saying… Caution Wide Load.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Clothing Fat Girlfriends People

You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Individuals Intelligence Memory People

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Communication Individuals People

Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Things

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example.

(1613 – 1680) French writer
Age Intelligence Old People