Subject: People (Page 8)

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People

During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
People Self Sex

Takes a hard man to eat boiled owl.

(1905 – 1982) American film & stage actor
People TV/Movie Quotes

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
People

Pacifist: A fellow who could attend a peace conference without getting into a fight.

Conflict Definitions Fights People

Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.

British politician
People Sports Time

Are Women Human?

Book Titles People Women

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Government People

A man who calls bullshit fertilizer.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Communication Individuals Language Lies

If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.

Murphy’s Laws People

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
People Situations Time

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.

People Women

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Men People

The average Italian…. is a cowardly baritone who consumes 78.3 kilometers of carbohydrates a month and drives about in a car slightly smaller than he is, looking for a divorce.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
People Places

My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Entertainment People

When I was a Republican, Saddam Hussein was our ally, George Bush owned a mediocre baseball team, Enron was a respected energy company and Michael Jackson was still black.

(1950 – ) Greek American author, columnist & website co-founder
Past People Self Time

Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.

Fools Intelligence Men People Women

Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
People Women

Hey, I don’t get respect from anyone… why, American Airlines thanked me for flying United.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults People Self

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you can see of its ass.

(Vinegar Joe) (1883 – 1946) American army general
Characteristics People

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Characteristics People