Subject: Places (Page 6)

Studies show 1 in 5 British teens are unable to peel an orange… it’s a good job they’ve all got knives then.

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
England People Places

There is no room for amateurs… even in crossing the streets.

(1934 – ) American actor
New York City Places

Strip the phony tinsel off Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Hollywood Places

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Places

In Seattle you haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.

(1964 – ) American founder, president, CEO & chairman of Amazon
Food/Drink Places

A Kerry footballer with an inferiority complex is one who thinks he’s just as good as everybody else.

(1928 – 2002) Irish playwright, novelist & essayist
Colemanballs Places

If banks are so good with numbers, why are there always eight windows and three tellers?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Places

Canadians do not like heroes, and so they do not have them.

(1912 – 1995) Canadian historical writer, essayist & literary critic
People Places

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Canada Education Learning

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
People Places

They don't get the philosophy jokes in Alabama; they think Descartes is the thing you put before de-horse.

comedian
Intelligence Places

Do you think pandas know they’re Chinese and they’re taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Animals Places

There is one thing on earth more terrible than English music, and that is English painting.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Art England Entertainment Food/Drink Insults Places

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
America Democracy Elections/Voting Government Places War World

Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places

According to a new geographic literacy study 4 out of 10 American students couldn't find Iraq on a map; however 10 out of 10 Mexicans could find the U.S. without a map.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Education Places

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Family People Places

Drug Kingpin Amado Fuentes died from 9 hours of liposuction and plastic surgery – or, as it's commonly known here in Beverly Hills, natural causes.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Death Health Places

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
America England Food/Drink Places

England is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex.

(1934 – ) comedian
Food/Drink Places Sex

You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director
Places Science/Weather