Subject: Problems » Accidents (Page 2)

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor
Accidents Problems War

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road; they get run over.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Accidents Beliefs Opinion Problems

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History

A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

The most delicate component will be dropped.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the light of the oncoming train.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

A dropped object will fall with an acceleration of 32 feet per second per second, and if it is your wallet, it will make every effort to land in a public toilet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from the floor… especially in the dark.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Situations Things

If you break a cup or plate, it will not be the one that was already chipped or cracked.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Accidents Animals People Problems

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Accidents Autos Clothing Death Problems

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

I think the homeless have it pretty good because 98% of deadly accidents happen inside the home.

(1982 – ) American stand-up comedian
Accidents People Problems

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People