Subject: Problems » Accidents (Page 2)

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

They're funny things, accidents; you never have them till you're having them.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Accidents Problems

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

I spilled spot remover on my dog… he’s gone now.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Animals Dogs Problems

Stuff tends to break when it is loaned or borrowed.

Accidents Problems Things

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Accidents Failure Situations

Things always fall at right angles.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

Accidents Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The leading cause of hot air balloon crashes is blowing an open flame into a f**king cloth balloon with a basket attached.

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Accidents Problems Things

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the light of the oncoming train.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Accidents Failure People

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car; it wasn’t serious – nobody saw me.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Accidents Problems

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Accidents Problems

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Accidents Life

Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Accidents Autos Things