Subject: Science/Weather (Page 3)

It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer; we have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got Saran Wrap – FIX IT!

Problems Science/Weather

I don’t know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence Mind Science/Weather

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Science/Weather Things

Smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist
Activities Science/Weather

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Family Relationships Science/Weather

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Computers Science/Weather Things

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Time

The sky is falling… no, I'm tipping over backwards.


Science/Weather Situations

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Religion Science/Weather

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English? It means 'liar.'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Occupations Science/Weather Work

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Science/Weather

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Cold Science/Weather

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Science/Weather

The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.

American baseball player
Baseball Science/Weather Sports Time

There will be a procession next Sunday afternoon in the grounds of the monastery; but if it rains in the afternoon, the procession will take place in the morning.

Church Bulletins Science/Weather

Scientists who dislike the restraints of highly organized research like to remark that a truly great research worker needs only three pieces of equipment – a pencil, a piece of paper, and a brain… but they quote this maxim more often at academic banquets than at budget hearings.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

1. If it is green or it wiggles – it is Biology.
2. If it stinks – it is Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work – it is Physics.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Science/Weather

Fifty percent of people have a below-average understanding of statistics.

People Science/Weather

Psychology: The care of the id by the odd.

Definitions Health Science/Weather