Subject: Science/Weather (Page 2)

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy.

(1819 – 1880) American oil driller
Science/Weather

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Science/Weather Things

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

I put tape on the mirrors in my house, so that I won’t accidentally walk through another dimension.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Situations

It is easier to square the circle than to get round a mathematician.

(1806 – 1871) English mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

Trees that grow in smoggy cities are needed to make carbon paper.

comedian
Science/Weather

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.

(1943 – 2004) author & psychologist
Science/Weather

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web…. Now even my cat has its own page.

Animals Cats Science/Weather Time

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold his penis… sorry – I mean ladder.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

Sleet: A slipcover.

Definitions Science/Weather

Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In the Cold

Cold Headlines

What goes up must come down… but don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Science/Weather

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it rains.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Money Science/Weather

Physics is like sex; sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
Science/Weather Sex

In India, ‘cold weather’ is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door knob and weather which only makes it mushy.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Heat Science/Weather

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Space is almost infinite; as a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Places Science/Weather

It was so cold… I chipped a tooth on my soup.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

It was so cold… polar bears were buying fur coats.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Places Science/Weather World