Subject: Sex (Page 11)

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, ‘I can’t talk now, I’m going into a tunnel.'

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex Things

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Dating People Relationships Self Sex

Petting: The study of anatomy in braille.

Definitions Sex

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex

Boy meets girl; girl gets boy into pickle; boy gets pickle into girl.

(1894–1971) American author
Sex

A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Sex

I rely on my personality for birth control.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Characteristics Sex

Sex again Peg? … we’ve been married seventeen years now; can’t we just be friends?

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

A woman can have sex with whoever she wants, a man only with whoever allows him.

Sex

Sex drive—a physical craving that begins in adolescence and ends at marriage.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Marriage Sex

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Appearance Clothing Sex

Sow wild oats

Sex

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Sex

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock; if I'm late, start without me.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Sex

One day as I came home early from work… I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Losing my virginity was a career move.

(1958 – ) American singer, actress & entrepreneur
Sex Work

Candy, is dandy, but liquor, is quicker.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex Time

Sex with me is like taking the SATs: just show up on time, do the best you can, and when I say stop, put your little pencil down.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian & actress
Sex

Recent surveys have shown that 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation; the rest just didn’t really think it was a problem.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Men People Sex

Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand.

(1940 – 2007) British journalist, art critic & author
Communication Sex