Subject: Sex (Page 31)

If men knew how to do it, they wouldn’t have to pay for it.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men Money People Sex

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent; she can't wait to disprove it.

(1904 – 1986) English-American actor
Dating Sex

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.

writer, website creator
Sex

You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex; men are people that have sex because they have a headache… or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Men People Sex

What does an atheist say during an orgasm?

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

I have no problem with homophobia; as long as they do it behind closed doors.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Fear Sex

Hey, for your information, people of our generation think sex is a private thing. And I still think that’s a pretty healthy way of looking at it. Sex is something between you and the person you’re doing it to!

(1940 – 2018) English-American actor & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Before we make love, my husband takes a painkiller.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Husbands Insults Marriage Sex

I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Children Family Sex

Sex is like art; most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

writer, website creator
Art Money Sex

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

(1934 – ) Italian actress
Characteristics Sex

The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off.

(1889 – 1963) French poet, novelist, playwright, artist & filmmaker
Appearance Clothing Sex

Have you ever tried to put an oyster in a slot machine?

(1922 – ) actor, film director, producer, writer & comedian
Age Old Sex

Now I keep reading that I'm over the hill sexually; I don't even remember having a sexual peak when I was 19; I just remember apologizing a lot.

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sex

The closest I’ve ever come to saying "no" [to a woman] is "Not now, we’re landing."

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
Sex

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Sex Wordplay

How tall are you cowboy?
I’m six feet and seven inches, ma’am.
Let’s forget about the six feet and talk about your seven inches.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Sex

When he tells you he wants to exchange ideas, what he really wants is to exchange fluids.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Self Sex

Sow wild oats

Sex