Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 6)

I'm glad we don't have to play in the shade.

professional golfer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

If you’d offered me a 69 at the start this morning I’d have been all over you.

Scottish professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing over your knees.

Golf Sports

I don’t enjoy playing video golf because there’s nothing to throw.

American professional golfer
Entertainment Golf Sports

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Problems Sports

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Golf Laughter Sports

Never has my flabber been so completely gasted

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

(1897 – 1976) American novelist, short story & sports writer
Characteristics Golf Sports

Fairway: A narrow strip of closely mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Golf Sports

I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf is a better game played downhill.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

[tees off] Fore! [his ball hits Judge Smails in the crotch] … I should have yelled, “Two!”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Golf Sports TV/Movie Quotes

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf People Sports

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Golf Sports

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.


(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Definitions Golf Sports

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is – don't.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

90% of the putts that are short don’t go in.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Golf Sports Yogi-isms

(We) should be allowed to wear shorts; God almighty, (LPGA) women are allowed to wear ‘em, and we’ve got better legs than they do.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports