Subject: Sports (Page 55)

When Lew was a twenty game winner for the Milwaukee Braves, people needed three columns for his pitching record: won, lost and relative humidity.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.

(1940 – ) Italian-American auto racer
Autos Situations Sports

I slept like a baby. Every two hours I woke up and cried.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub.


Sports

If a guy is a good fastball hitter, does that mean I should throw him a bad fastball?

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Exciting plays occur only while you are watching the scoreboard or out buying a hot dog.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

Our goal is to score 27 points. If we can get two touchdowns and three field goals, we’ve got our 27 points.

(1937 – ) American football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

We can’t win at home… we can’t win on the road; as general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Misspokements Sports

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars; that bothered my dad at the time because he didn’t have that kind of dough… but he eventually scraped it up.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Money Sports

Not being born to parents who were accountants was probably my biggest mistake.

British boxing champion
Boxing Miscellaneous Sports

The only good thing about playing for Cleveland is you don't have to make road trips there.

American baseball player
Baseball Places Sports

Oi, leave our flies alone, Jardine. They’re the only friends you’ve got here.

Stephen Gascoigne (1878 – 1942) Australian sports fan & heckler
Sports

He has everything a boxer needs except speed, stamina, a punch, and ability to take punishment. In other words, he owns a pair of shorts.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Boxing Sports

Absentee: A missing golfing peg.

Definitions Golf Sports

Jay Bell is 0-for-6 in this series with 10 homers and 52 RBIs.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

There is someone warming up in the Giants’ bullpen, but he’s obscured by his number.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Golf: An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Golf Sports

Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If the Bible has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Girls Sports TV/Movie Quotes

If I’m half the coach on the bench that I was in the stands, we’ll have no problems.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports