Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 81)
It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Golf
Sports
Lost balls
Sportsmanship
I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.
Charles Barkley
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball
Sports
Hate
The pub is as much a part of rugby as is the playing field.
John Dickenson
Food/Drink
Sports
Pubs
Rugby
If officials called every penalty they saw, there would be no players on the ice and no one in the rink.
Frank Chadwick
professional hockey referee
Hockey
Sports
Penalties
There are only two categories in cliff diving; there's 'Grand Champion' and 'Stuff on a Rock.'
Norm MacDonald
(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Activities
Sports
Categories
Cliff diving
You're damn right I know where I am! I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the sh*t kicked out of me.
Willie Pastrano
American boxer
Boxing
Sports
Answering the fight doctor during his title bout against Jose Torres
I’ve never seen a game like this; every game this year has been like this.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
I was six foot one inch when I started fighting, but with all the uppercuts I'm up to six foot five inches.
Chuck Wepner
American boxer
Appearance
Boxing
Sports
Height
I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel’s suitcase.
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Sports
No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
Unknown
Golf
Murphy’s Laws
Sports
Give blood. Play hockey.
Hockey Saying
Hockey
Sports
Blood
A lot of good ballgames on tomorrow, but we’re going to be right here with the Cubs and the Mets.
Thom Brennaman
baseball broadcaster
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Not intentionally, but I sweat easily.
‘Lefty’ Gomez
(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball
Sports
Pitching
When asked if he ever threw a spitball
Some quiet guys are inwardly outgoing.
Ralph Kiner
(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
People
Sports
There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.
Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer
(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball
Sports
About a player thrown out attempting to steal second.
We were so poor a robber once broke into our house and we ended up robbing the robber.
Shannon Sharpe
American football player
Football
Money
Poverty
Sports
We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other.
Barry Beck
professional hockey player
Activities
Hockey
Misspokements
After an embarrassing loss
Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Football
Girls
People
Sports
Boys
If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.
George Foreman
(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing
Education
School
Sports
On liking to sleep late
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Arms
Sports
Shooting
I don't speak Chinese, but I figure if I try, I've got to be saying something.
Harland Williams
(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor, comedian, author & radio personality
Baseball
Communication
Language
Chinese
Page 81 of 125
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