Subject: Sports (Page 81)

Normally in Chicago, you always have some kind of weather.

Football Misspokements Science/Weather Sports

It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.


Basketball Sports

Villeneuve is now twelve seconds ahead of Villeneuve.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

This is lap 54; after that, it’s 55, 56, 57, 58.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Fortunately he is 22 years old, so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Sports

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

skier
Misspokements Sports

I wasn't talking to Holmes in there; every time I felt like saying something to him I found it hard because he kept putting his left hand in my mouth.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Buster Douglas went to bed as a 231-pound world champion and woke up as a 270-pound parade float.

American sports columnist
Appearance Body Boxing Fat Sports

I wish I could remember everything I told him.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down.

(1940 – ) Italian-American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match: “It's a fight to the finish” … that's a good place to end.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Boxing Sports

A lot of the people who make these suggestions would have a hard time filling out the application forms to work at 7-Eleven.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

You guys don't know the difference between a football and a Mercedes-Benz.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

hockey announcer
Hockey Sports Time

Cricket is baseball on valium.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

This year we plan to run and shoot. Next season we hope to run and score.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

If anyone wants me tell them I'm being embalmed.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

It’s not over yet.

British professional golfer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports