Subject: Sports (Page 81)

It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Golf Sports

I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

The pub is as much a part of rugby as is the playing field.

Food/Drink Sports

If officials called every penalty they saw, there would be no players on the ice and no one in the rink.

professional hockey referee
Hockey Sports

There are only two categories in cliff diving; there's 'Grand Champion' and 'Stuff on a Rock.'

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Activities Sports

You're damn right I know where I am! I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the sh*t kicked out of me.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

I’ve never seen a game like this; every game this year has been like this.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I was six foot one inch when I started fighting, but with all the uppercuts I'm up to six foot five inches.

American boxer
Appearance Boxing Sports

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel’s suitcase.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

Give blood. Play hockey. 

Hockey Sports

A lot of good ballgames on tomorrow, but we’re going to be right here with the Cubs and the Mets.

baseball broadcaster
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Not intentionally, but I sweat easily.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Some quiet guys are inwardly outgoing.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements People Sports

There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

We were so poor a robber once broke into our house and we ended up robbing the robber.

American football player
Football Money Poverty Sports

We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other.

professional hockey player
Activities Hockey Misspokements

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Football Girls People Sports

If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Education School Sports

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Arms Sports

I don't speak Chinese, but I figure if I try, I've got to be saying something.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor, comedian, author & radio personality
Baseball Communication Language