Subject: Time (Page 10)

Adding manpower to a late technology project only makes it later.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Money still talks these days… trouble is, you have to increase the volume alot!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

Why women don’t blink during foreplay… not enough time.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marching across your face.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress

There comes a time in every man’s life… and I’ve had many of them.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

You always think another time would have been ideal for you; the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian

The weekend represents the 48 hours that you have to f**k up the life you worked so hard for all week.

(1983 – ) American comedian

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.

(1893 – 1978) American author

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian

The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist

Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen.

(1870 – 1924) Russian revolutionary, politician & political theorist