Subject: Work (Page 11)

I used to be a hot-tar roofer… yeah, I remember that day.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Work

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Definitions Occupations

Dentist: man who lives from hand to mouth.

Definitions Occupations

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing

If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.

Murphy’s Laws Work

The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

(1938 – ) U.S. governor (California) & politician
Murphy’s Laws Work

A professional is one who does a good job even when he doesn't feel like it.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.

Murphy’s Laws Work

When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am grown up, they call me a writer.

(1902 – 1991) Polish Jewish American author
Communication Lies Occupations Reading/Writing Work

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he’s out of.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Family Work

Simple jobs always get put off because there will be time to do them later.

Time Work

If you do a job twice, it’s yours.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Work: An unpopular way to earn money.

Definitions Work

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions Occupations Wordplay Work

Astronomer: Night watchman.

Definitions Occupations

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

The longer the title, the less important the job.

Murphy’s Laws Work

When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.

Murphy’s Laws Work

The Pope has come out and said that only 2 per cent of Catholic priests are paedophiles; unfortunately, that  2 per cent is their penis.

Canadian comedian
Occupations Work

No one wants to hear about the labor pains, they just want to see the baby.

(1939 – ) American baseball player
Success Work