Subject: Work (Page 11)

Never trust a ventriloquist or a barber.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes

Everyone who does not work has a scheme that does.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Money Work

Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.

(1967 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes Work

Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions Occupations Wordplay Work

Security isn’t. Management can’t. Sales promotions don’t. Customer assistance doesn’t. Worker’s won’t.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Management: A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more-talented underlings.

Definitions Work

Automation has opened up a whole new field of unemployment.

Situations Work

Give a civil servant a good cause and he’ll wreck it with cliches, bad punctuation, double negatives and convoluted apology.

(1928 – 1999) British politician & diarist
Occupations People Work

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Time Work

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large number of people from coughing.

(1902 – 1983) English actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations

First rate mathematicians choose first rate people, but second rate mathematicians choose third rate people.

(1906 – 1998) French mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

I dedicate this show to my dad who was a roofer… so dad, if you’re up there…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Family Fathers Occupations Work

The man who knows "how" will always have a job. The man who knows "why" will always be his boss.

Murphy’s Laws Work

‘Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime.’ ‘Was it something I said?’ asks the son. ‘Yes.’

(Daniel Barker) British comedian, voice-artist & actor
Communication Occupations Speech Work

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Housework Work

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.

(1921 – 1995) American comedian & actor
Work

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

(1913 – 1996) Hungarian mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

The chief distinction of a diplomat is that he can say no in such a way that it sounds like yes.

(1897 – 1972) Canadian prime minister
Government Occupations Work

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

To estimate the time it takes to do a task, estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by two, and change the unit of measure to the next highest unit. (Example: allocate two days for a one-hour task)

Murphy’s Laws Time Work