Subject: Work (Page 12)

He’s so lazy he wouldn’t work in a pie factory.

Characteristics Expressions Work

Diplomat: A headwaiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally. 

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Government Occupations

Most anybody can be a cowboy, but it takes a damn genius to make money at it.

Money Occupations Work

Judge: Mr Smith, you must not direct the jury. What do you suppose I am on the bench for?

Smith: It is not for me, your honour, to attempt to fathom the inscrutable workings of Providence.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Law Occupations Work

Employment Agency: Where people are put in their place.

Definitions Work

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Sleep Work

Executive: An under-worked, over-paid person who is in over their head.

Definitions Occupations

If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes – make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.

(1961 – ) English comedian, actor, director, producer & writer
Time TV/Movie Quotes Work

Don't pay any attention to the critics; don't even ignore them.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements Occupations Opinion

Meetings are a great trap; however, they are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.

(1908 – 2006) Canadian-American economist
Work

Philosopher: One who, instead of crying over spilt milk, consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.

Definitions Occupations

The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Work

If a company’s most valuable resource is its people, how come the employees aren’t locked up, but the toilet paper is in a reinforced steel box with a lock, bolted to the stall?

Situations Work

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job – it's the start of a brand new series of three.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Work

Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

ventriloquist dummy of Edgar Bergen (1903 – 1978)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

My first job consisted of me answering a phone… but it wasn't for me.

British comedian
Occupations Self Work

Quit spitting on the handle and get to hoeing.

Expressions Work