Subject: Work (Page 12)

It's on the other side.

Things Work

Dentist: A collector of old magazines.

Definitions Occupations

Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'


Basketball Occupations Sports Work

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old Situations Work

I was a trampoline salesman… off and on.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Work

A professional is a man who can do his job when he doesn’t feel like it; an amateur is a man who can’t do his job when he does feel like it.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Work

Quit spitting on the handle and get to hoeing.

Expressions Work

The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

There's no business like show business… but there are several businesses like accounting.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Occupations Work

No real English gentleman, in his secret soul, was ever sorry for the death of a political economist.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Occupations Work

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Government Occupations Taxes

Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions Occupations Wordplay Work

People become progressively less competent for jobs they once were well equipped to handle.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.

Murphy’s Laws Work

When I was a kid I used to play doctor with this little girl in my neighborhood and one time we got caught… luckily, it was a Wednesday and we were just playing golf.

comedian
Doctors Occupations Work

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Characteristics Work

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.

(1982 – ) American author
Work

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
America Places Work

Dinosaurs with Jobs

Book Titles Occupations Work