Subject: Work (Page 15)

The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job… especially if you’ve got hay fever

(1964 – ) English comedian
Health Occupations Work

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Sleep Work

Generals who can write always make me nervous.

(1921 – ) American newspaper editor
Government Military Occupations

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

Give a civil servant a good cause and he’ll wreck it with cliches, bad punctuation, double negatives and convoluted apology.

(1928 – 1999) British politician & diarist
Occupations People Work

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices… in the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Work

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Intelligence Thinking Work

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task overwhelm me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Situations Time Work

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Money Work

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

My girlfriend likes to play doctor; so I always make her wait 90 minutes before I see her.

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor
Occupations Sex

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Government Occupations Taxes

A consultant is someone you pay a hundred-dollars-an-hour to give you the same advice you ignore from your assistant.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Occupations People Work

[Critics] search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Communication Occupations Work

Security isn’t. Management can’t. Sales promotions don’t. Customer assistance doesn’t. Worker’s won’t.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Occupations Work

Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
Appearance Occupations Work

Well, we can't stand about here doing nothing; people will think we're workmen.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Work

A consultant is someone who saves his client almost enough to pay his fee.

(1905 –1998) American author
Occupations Work

Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Success Work