Author: Anonymous Page 111

“My giant sea creature died,” Tom wailed blubberingly.

Tom Swifties

He’s crooked as a barrel full of fish hooks.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Insults

American Way: Using instant coffee to dawdle away an hour.

Definitions

“There, there,” was Tom’s pat answer.

Tom Swifties

Whoa!: A brake for horses.

Animals Definitions

Sociology: Journalism without news.

Definitions

It's as easy as falling off a piece of cake.

Mixed metaphors

Don't stand behind a coughing cow.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Appearance Body Definitions

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Life Money

Don't beat a dead horse in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Characteristics

[Marriage] is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Marriage

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Characteristics

Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

Definitions

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

Activities Definitions Games

“I know what herb would taste nice with this,” said Tom sagely.

Tom Swifties

Raising kids is like being pecked to death by a chicken.

Children Expressions Family

Fish: An animal that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time a fisherman describes it to his friends.

Activities Animals Definitions

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Definitions

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Definitions Self