Author: Anonymous Page 12

Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.

Definitions Doctors Health

Ingrate: A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of indigestion.

Definitions People

He’s still green behind the ears.

Mixed metaphors

You're sailing close to thin ice.

Mixed metaphors

Lawyer: Men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.

Definitions Lawyers

“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.

Tom Swifties

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away.

Definitions Occupations

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat

“We’ll need a higher price at auction,” Tom said morbidly.

Tom Swifties

If there is a substitute for brains it has to be silence.

Intelligence

When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Characteristics Intelligence

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

She's not wearing enough clothes to flag a hand car.

Appearance Clothing Expressions

Happier than a pig in slop

Emotions Expressions Happiness

“That young insect is male,” said Tom buoyantly.

Tom Swifties

He is not the sharpest cookie in the jar.

Mixed metaphors

Never wave to a friend at an auction.

Situations

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.

Children Family Sex Wordplay

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Characteristics

Absence makes a long story short.

Mixed metaphors

“This movie will be very popular,” Tom projected.

Tom Swifties