Author: Anonymous Page 132

“I have lost all my Hungarian sheet music,” said Tom listlessly.

Tom Swifties

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

Communication

Parole: A period at the end of a sentence.

Definitions

Misers make wonderful ancestors.

Frugal Money

Ant: A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics.

Animals Definitions

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

“I chop down trees for a living,” said Tom lumberingly.

Tom Swifties

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

Etiquette is the noise you don’t make while having soup.

Characteristics

“No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas,” said Tom laconically.

Tom Swifties

“I still haven’t struck oil,” said Tom boringly.

Tom Swifties

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t.

People

Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

He once had a unbiblical hernia.

Health Malaprops

She tried to use reverse psychiatry on me.

Malaprops

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

Definitions Government Law

There's a traumatic difference between the two.

Malaprops

Recycling of animal protein in feed proved a recipe for disaster.

Mixed metaphors

Like stealing cake from a baby

Mixed metaphors

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money