Author: Anonymous Page 155

Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.

Marriage

Dark Ages: Knight time.

Definitions

How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.

Time

Bookie: A pickpocket who lets you use your own hands.

Definitions

Originality: The art of concealing your source.

Definitions

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

“I’d better repeat that SOS message,” said Tom remorsefully.

Tom Swifties

Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your own way.

Definitions

“I can’t do it!” Tom said notably.

Tom Swifties

Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.

Definitions

You can put the cart before the horse, but you can't make him drink.

Mixed metaphors

“Don’t add too much water,” said Tom with great concentration.

Tom Swifties

Bigamist: A man who who has had one too many.

Definitions Marriage

Foosball: A combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

Activities Definitions

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

Is that going to throw a wrinkle?

Mixed metaphors

Life: A breathing spell.

Definitions Life

I can syncronize with those homeless people.

Malaprops

He's got too many oars in the fire.

Misspokements

Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.

Definitions

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather