Author: Anonymous Page 155

Money isn’t everything: usually it isn’t enough.

Money

We’ll tackle that bridge when we come to it.

Mixed metaphors

Loved Ben, hated Hur.

Reviews/Criticism

“I pulled a hamstring,” said Tom limply.

Tom Swifties

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

Tube Dress: A dress which is an extended boob tube.

Clothing Definitions

Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.

Emotions Happiness Money

Fashion: Something that goes out of style as soon as most people have one.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Altar: Place where a man loses control of himself.

Definitions Marriage

Assumption is the mother of the screw-up.

Mistakes Problems

“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.

Tom Swifties

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

Places Situations World

Small Town: A place where everybody knows the troubles you’ve seen.

Definitions Places

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

People

Vasectomy: Spoil the rod… spare the child.

Definitions

Dieting: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

I have my doubts about disbelief.

Miscellaneous

Consult: To seek another’s approval of a course already decided upon.

Definitions

Adultery: Putting yourself in someone else’s position.

Marriage Sex

You can put the cart before the horse, but you can't make him drink.

Mixed metaphors

“Now I have the tools to chop down that tree,” said Tom with a heavy accent.

Tom Swifties