Author: Anonymous Page 47

User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.

Computers Definitions Things

Brat: A child who displays his pest manners.

Definitions

Don't stand behind a coughing cow.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

“We can’t accommodate any more peripherals,” said Tom bus-ily.

Tom Swifties

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

Absence makes a long story short.

Mixed metaphors

Diet Drink/Soda: A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half-pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Definitions Food/Drink

“This must be an aerobics class,” Tom worked out.

Tom Swifties

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

Definitions

“No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas,” said Tom laconically.

Tom Swifties

Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all modern improvements.

Death Definitions

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Definitions

Average Person: One who thinks someone else is the average person.

Definitions People

A boy becomes a man when he stops asking his father for an allowance and requests a loan.

Children Family

If sex doesn't scare the cat, you're not doing it right.

Sex

Surfing the Infobahn [information superhighway]

Mixed metaphors

Interesting: A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

Communication Definitions Speech

“I think we were cheated,” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

Efficiency Expert: A man who knows less about your business than you do and gets paid more for telling you how to run it than you could possibly make out of it, even if you ran it right instead of the way he told you to.

Definitions

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Characteristics

“I’m going to be intestate,” said Tom unwillingly.

Tom Swifties