Author: Anonymous Page 5

Let's make sure we're all talking off the same sheet of music.

Mixed metaphors

“I’ve still got two fingers left,” said Tom handsomely.

Tom Swifties

“I punched him in the stomach three times,” said Tom triumphantly.

Tom Swifties

Boundary: In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.

Definitions Places

Men are like textbooks: you have to spend a lot of time between the covers to gain a small amount of satisfaction.

Books Education Men People Reading/Writing

Women: Can't live with 'em – can't live with 'em.

People Women

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Communication Health Language Reading/Writing

“So this is your new computer!” said Tom calculatingly.

Tom Swifties

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

The words “don't" and “isn’t” are contraptions.

Communication Language Malaprops

Kicking off the hockey season

Mixed metaphors

Looting: A public shopping spree generously sponsored by local merchants in the wake of a riot.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

He's a wolf in cheap clothing.

Malaprops

Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in!

Situations

Parole: A period at the end of a sentence.

Definitions

Diaper: A changeable seat cover.

Definitions

Never judge a book by its title.

Mixed metaphors

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Education School

Husband: One who stands by you in troubles you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t married him.

Definitions Marriage

Altar-Boy: A type of bicycle accident.

Definitions

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Communication Definitions