Author: Anonymous Page 64

“Are you homosexual?” Tom queried gaily.

Tom Swifties

That baby's cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.

Appearance Expressions

The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.

Children Family

Windy as a hornet

Mixed metaphors

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Beliefs Opinion

You could just charm the dew off of a honey suckle.

Expressions

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

“The escaped prisoner is camping out in the woods,” said Tom contentedly.

Tom Swifties

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

Definitions

Sometimes you just have to let sleeping dogs fall where they may.

Mixed metaphors

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Definitions Men People Relationships

Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.

Beliefs Definitions People

I invented a new word – “plagiarism.”

Communication Language Wordplay

He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Definitions Self

Aground: When a boat makes the discovery that all water has land under it.

Definitions

He could wear a top hat and walk under a snake’s belly.

Expressions

“I was adopted,” said Tom transparently.

Tom Swifties

“Wool is better than cotton,” Tom said sheepishly.

Tom Swifties