Author: Anonymous Page 70

They downloaded the strength of the hurricane.

Malaprops

Telemarketer: A minimum waged person who calls a bunch of people on a list to sell them something that they probably don’t need, and gets hung up on because the person being called usually has a mouth full of food.

Definitions Occupations

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

Characteristics Intelligence Situations Understanding

We're robbing Peter to pay the piper.

Mixed metaphors

Deep pockets… short arms

Expressions

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

She is so short… you can see her feet on her driver's license picture.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

People are dying like hotcakes.

Mixed metaphors

Durable Goods: Those that last longer than the time payments.

Definitions Things

Diamond: A woman’s idea of a stepping stone to success.

Definitions Things

“Those cobs are amazing!” said Tom cornily.

Tom Swifties

“That horse looks like a good bet at 20 to 1,” said Tom oddly.

Tom Swifties

Don't count all your eggs in one basket.

Mixed metaphors

“Here’s another baseball glove”, Tom admitted.

Tom Swifties

“I won’t tell you anything about my salivary glands,” said Tom secretively.

Tom Swifties

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.

Children Family Sex Wordplay

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Activities Definitions

It’s time to grab the bull by the tail and look him in the eye.

Mixed metaphors